Work Ramblings

I work with numbers and when the words do not flow out of my mouth quite the way I intended (this happens more often than I care to admit), I like to say something like “I like numbers, not words”. This is not exactly true. I did not go into accounting to be a “bean counter”, “number cruncher” or whatever you like to think is true about accounting. I went into accounting because I got it. It made sense. I wanted to have an influence on the bottom the line without selling. By now, I thought I would have been done with working in public accounting and would be on the fast track to stardom in an industry company where the corporate culture promoted all the same values and ideals I have. Alas, I am in public accounting today (by my choice, most days) and I enjoy my current career path (well, here again, most days). Maybe someday the mood will strike and I will pick up the thought of industry stardom. Until that moment arrives, I’m here and doing whatever I can to make our firm profitable, respected and known.

In order to “sell” my firm I need to believe in the firm. We are a professional service and this means, to me, I have need to believe in our people. I admit, a few years back, I did not believe in a few of the people (we are small company and a few people have a huge impact) and I decided to look for a new job. I almost took one that likely would have led to the industry stardom but decided within a couple years and would want to be back in public accounting. I’m happy I made that decision. Within the next year the mood of my firm had changed and all the people were once again top-notch (it’s an excellent feeling knowing you are not the smartest person in the room). Our young accountants, who I sometimes refer to as kids – because I’m so old and they are so young, are second to none.

Because I have such high regards for everyone, I was recently surprised in a discussion.

“I don’t need to have a relationship with you. We just need to get the work done.” (NOTE: Not verbatim and there was also reference to not needing a relationship with a couple others at the firm - among other things.)

However, what I heard was more like this:

“I think you are crap and I tolerate working with you because I have to.”

I am not a person who needs to be best buddies with everyone. I am a person that needs to be more than tolerated with those she works with.

I develop relationships with clients because it improves working relationships. It seems like developing relationships with co-workers improves working relationships, gives a higher quality service to clients, and makes works more enjoyable. This hurts.

I came home that night and talked with Big Poppy. There were tears because I do not want to be “that” co-worker. The one people thinks does a good job but that’s about it. Even now, just thinking about it, there is a frog in my throat. What if I am now (or always have been) the less than top-notch one at the firm?

I am not questioning myself, per say. I’m questioning if I’m doing the best for my firm. I’m questioning if I’m the best person for my firm. Would it be a stronger place without me? Am I holding it back?

They say love hurts. I say work hurts…but as I think about it, I do love/care for everyone at my firm. It makes sense that this hurts. That it has shaken me. I do not get together with most of them outside of the office, but we are a small and you get to know people. I have been there for nine years. I cannot be somewhere for that long without forming bonds. My lesson, not everyone needs a relationship with those they work with.

My work ramblings are done – for today. And I feel a little better for laying it out and seeing what the real issue is for me now.

We have Not Left the Country

Has it felt like we've been gone for a while and does it feel like we have left the country? Let me assure you, we have been snuggled up nicely this month, in our home. We have not left the country NOR have we had much of dreamland trips. Our pleasant dreams have been apparently awaken each night for most of July with cries of pain.

It hasn't been Jeter.

It hasn't been Big Poppy.

It's Little Guy.

And now I know why. This past week Little Guy ran a low grade fever and it went up to 101 degrees on Monday and then again on Friday. When the low grade fever started, Big Poppy and I were waiting for a new tooth to pop through Little Guy's gums. Nothing surfaced.

On Friday I decided it was time to take Little Guy to see the pediatrician. He's been a very healthy little boy. The only times Little Guy has been to the doctor is when it's time for his check-ups. A quick look in Little Guy's mouth and the pediatrician found the problem. Little Guy is getting in a molar tooth and there is a cyst.

Here's a thought, if a cyst is nothing to be concerned about there should be another name for it. Saying the word cyst to a Mommy will cause the heart to stop momentarily. Maybe you should start a little differently instead of saying here, look, it's a cyst but nothing to worry about it. Once the tooth pops through the cyst will pop up and there will be lots of blood but don't be concerned. At this point, once the cyst pops through, the pain will be relieved and unfortunately there isn't really much we can do for the pain. And then follow-up with you think it will be another two weeks before the tooth pops through Little Guy's gums.

Little Guy also has an ear infection is in right ear and the pediatrician comment how great it was that he hasn't had one until now. (I guess we must be doing something right!) A quick prescription of amoxicillin and we are on our way.

And so, this weekend, while we have not left the country, we have not had much dreamland, we have however, had plenty of ice cream and popsicles. Nice cold and soothing ice cream and popsicles to help numb the gums. Little Guy has been living it up this weekend.

Unfortunately, ice cream does not seem appropriate in the middle of the night. Tonight, Mommy is persona non grata. Big Poppy is down comforting Little Guy since Mommy just won't do. I'm up here, feeling guilty for all kinds of reasons but mostly I'm feeling terrible that while we can give Little Guy a little bit of Acetaminophen (Tylenol) or Ibuprofen (Motrin) it really isn't going to stop the pain, just lessen it.

Poor Little Guy.

Raspy Baby

My baby isn't himself.

Little Guy has a spring bug of some sort. A runny nose, no problem. Wanting to snuggle all day and all night, I'll take it while I can get it - all too soon he'll run from the sight of huggy his mommy or daddy. The strained vocal cords are a little tougher because I know how his throat must hurt. The prospect of not going on our upcoming family vacation is disappointing, despite my own previous personal thoughts (new day, new attitude!) I was looking forward to showing Little Guy the magic around us.

The toughest part? It would be a toss up between 1) knowing Little Guy is uncomfortable and there is only so much I can give him and I can only give it to him every four hours (it seems to only last about 2 hours) or 2) the 3:32 am car drive so Little Guy can sleep while I hope my own eyes stay open to see any other crazy parents with one eye closed so their special little one can sleep.

Even though all kids catch a bug now and then, I wasn't prepared for how difficult it would be for me. In reality, while the lack of sleep isn't ideal but it's managable. Little Guy is very active and curious. He's getting more and more independent. For Little Guy to want to snuggle all day and all night and virtually ignore Jeter, we know he's not in tip top shape. I cannot describe how horrible it feels to know I cannot make him better. The children's medicine can help but with a cold its just going to take time.

There is an up side, Little Guy is on the mend. He had a good nights sleep last night which means Big Poppy and I had a good nights sleep. Tax day is coming up fast which means more free time. Vacation is around the corner and I do believe we will be on track for our departure.

The downside...Little Guy is wanting less snuggle time. It is a good thing, I do know this. But that doesn't mean I can't be slightly sad he chooses a toy over mommy. (The only logical solution, donate the toys.)

Big Poppy & Little Guy catching some shut eye.

Puppy Dog Tails

Little Guy has a new little boy to play in the dirt with this summer.

Mack and MackDaddy welcomed into the world early last night (4:59 pm), a little (and I mean little, 4 lbs, 9 oz, 18 1/2 inches) baby boy. I was thinking he would be called BabyMack but AuntStephie thought of and I likey alot, Mackadoddle.

I'm so stinking happy for them!

Dropping a Weight Class

If you have been keeping track you would realize someone turned nine months old last Friday - stay tuned for pictures of the professional kind - and if you know anything about well baby check-ups, you have been patiently waiting for the update.

Let's just say Little Guy is the picture of health and perfection. OK, the pediatrician may not have said those exact same words but I'm sure she was thinking "this Little Guy is sure one perfect little boy and I really wish I could utter these words out loud to his Mommy and Daddy". Not to worry Doc, I got the mind reading imagination ability down pat.

Vitals at Nine Months:

Height: 30 7/8" (95 - 97 percentile)

Weight: 22 lbs 4 oz (75 - 90 percentile)

Head: 45.5 cm (50 percentile)

(Want to compare this to the six months vitals?)

Up to this point Little Guy's height and weight percentiles almost mirrored each other. I want to assure you, even though Little Guy dropped a fighting weight class, we are feeding him. Man, we are feeding him. Just the other day Big Poppy asked Little Guy if it has started already, he was going to eat us out of the house. Big Poppy had previously been under the impression only teenage boys ate this much.

Now don't be jealous of how much Little Guy has been eating and still dropped a weight class. It's a problem you can have too, if you are willing to follow Little Guy's daily work-out. I cannot keep up such a rigorous schedule. Here is the secret to Little Guy's ability to eat and eat and eat and maintain a health weight.

Piss & Vinegar.

Piss is a four legged fluff ball.

Vinegar is an all fours snuggle bug.

Together, Piss & Vinegar chase each other around the house. Sometimes Vinegar thinks Piss needs his water stirred with love. Other times Piss will turn on one of Vinegar's toys. Either way, it always brings the other one running speed crawling. These two pals are never far apart.

But those are stories for another day.

Little Guy is one tough fellow. After Big Poppy warned Little Guy about the shot he was about to receive, Little Guy made it clear what he would do to the nurse.

 

Don't hurt me and I won't be forced to tear your head off like this.

As it turned out, there were no tears involved. Not even a flinch. Little Guy looked pain in the eye and he came out on top.

I think you tried to trick me with that needle. I didn't feel a thing.

Same Day Procedure

As you can tell, I have not been around here much lately. Big Poppy, Little Guy and I were preparing for a minor, same day procedure on Thursday. The time had come for Little Guy to have his circumcision. For a couple reasons, Little Guy missed his window of opportunity right after birth. If you do not have this done right away you will need to wait six months for the use of anethetics.

Even though this was a same day procedure, Big Poppy and I both wanted to be there and then have a couple days at home with Little Guy. Big Poppy took Little Guy to the pre-op appointment by himself. As a precation our pedtrician recommended a nebulizer to ensure Little Guy's lungs were clear.

This is what I came home to that day. Little Guy has quite the mask. Trust me, it looks worse than it is. Little Guy is normally laughing while this runs for 10 minutes (about every four hours).

With the all clear, on Thursday we woke and prepared for the procedure. I thought the hardest part would be Little Guy's eating restrictions. After going to bed around 9 pm on Wednesday, Little Guy did not wake up at all during the night (which is normally a good thing) but this meant Little Guy could not have anything for breakfast. Big Poppy and I decided to wait on breakfast too. If Little Guy must suffer, then so would we.

When we arrived at the children's clinic/hospital, Little Guy was once again a happy little boy. Perhaps a little confused on the sweats in public (which is wearing a lot of right now). So far there were no signs of a hunger fit coming.

We met with the nurse, found the hospital pjs and then waited. In a play room with other families waiting for their turn to have their little one taken back to the doctors for a couple hours. Our doctors were great. These are people I would recommend to others or use again. A great feeling when you precious little one is going to be put under.

The procedure went fine and about one and half hours after losing Little Guy to nurses and doctors we were invited into his recovering room. Then the hunger fit began and who could blame him!

Now I must admit I was not prepared for how Little Guy would look. The nurse went over how to do everything for the next few weeks and I was visible taken aback on how Little Guy looked. The nurse noticed and reminded me he would not remember this, it would be harder on us.

Oh, but the first time I changed his diaper once we were home. Tears came from Little Guy because it was so tender. Tears came from me because of the discomfort (OK, PAIN) I was causing with the ointment. For the next couple days Little Guy was on a steady dose of pain treatments and baths (the soaking in water helps little boys). Big Poppy and I determined it would be better for him to change the diapers for a couple days - not that he liked how it caused Little Guy pain but then there would only be one of us in tears, one of us able to hold the tears back and one of us doing the diapering.

This morning, I changed my first diaper in just about two days. There were no tears but there was plenty of anxiety in its place. We are currently double diapering for added padding/protection since Little Guy is on the move, even now.

Today is the start of the Christmas festivities for our family. A Saturday brunch today and Sunday breakfast followed by Santa Clause tomorrow. I sure hope Little Guy does not cry for Santa.

Half Birthday

Little Guy celebrated his half birthday on Thursday. We decided to keep the occassion on the DL but somehow the peditrician found out about it anyways and invited Little Guy in for a small party.

After wowing Little Guy with her charm, the doc got down to business.

Here are the vitals at Six Months:
Height: 28 1/2" (97 percentile)
Weight: 20 lbs 10 oz (90-95 percentile)
Head: 43.5 cm (50 percentile)
(Here is a refresher of the vitals at four months - there are links to earlier months too.)

Little Guy is tracking perfectly. He is reaching all milestones right on target or slightly ahead. However, we did get a reminder not to carry Little Guy so much anymore. This will help him achieve crawling. I can not say I am a big fan of letting Little Guy become frustrated on the floor but I will do it.

As you can see, Little Guy has no clue of what is about to happen next. It is a good think the memory is short when it comes to shots otherwise I am sure he would not be so happy right now.

And then the dreaded shots happened. Little Guy was confused on what just happened.

But within minutes he was ready to roll again.

However, last night he was a bit tuckered out and fell asleep early (and on the couch).

Rain to Sun to Rain

It is an American family tradition to go on road trips. I do not understand how there is proper family bonding when I hear of friends who have never been on a family road trip. I mean, really, where do you learn these standard lines if not on a family road trip:

"Don't make me stop the car."

"How much longer?"

"Stop hitting your brother."

"Are we there yet?"

Friday morning was a slow start. I may have not allowed sufficient time woken Big Poppy up to help me to complete all necessary tasks to be on the road by 7 am. I felt good with the 7:30 departure after I looked at the laundry completed. After seven hours on the road, with bathroom breaks, lunch and a snack attack, we reached our destination. Sunshine! It rained for most of those seven hours while on the road.

Visiting friends was great. I was so caught up in playing with the boys; Little Guy got to visit Boo (4) and Bro-Bro (1), that I failed to take many pictures. I was living in the now and now hope that I have a flawless memory. Sunday morning was especially special for me. Not only did I get to spend it with Little Guy, but also Bro-Bro woke up early to be with us. They look so peaceful!

Bro-Bro did not last long in our bed. He was ready for the morning and we watched a movie together.

I was pleased to find a jogging stroller on a trip to the grocery store (the running store was next door - side note, I went to the grocery store, running store, and gas station in less time than it takes some husbands to get coffee, you know who are Travie). We took the stroller for a test walk with the boys. (Side note 2 - for any newly 'with child' out there, you know who you are... :) get this one!)

Sunday afternoon was not a good time for Little Guy. He was a very unhappy camper and a bit anti-social. Little Guy and I spent most of our time in basement. He has never cried like this before but with good reason. The poor thing had some problems going to the bathroom. He seemed pretty good on the way home on Monday.

Little Guy is looking at something with so much concentration that it got me wondering what it was that engrossed him.

I snapped this from Little Guy's view point. I'm still wondering what has him so engrossed...

At least Little Guy seems relaxed with Big Poppy at the wheel. Or maybe he is just enjoying me re-reading New Moon to him (he liked my voice and I can sing for only so long).








We made it home safely. GrandB and GrandC missed out. We waited for quite a while at their place when we picked up Jeter. Next time. And, joy of all joy's, Little Guy worked some of his bathroom problems out. Big Poppy and I have never been so pleased to see a dirty diaper.

This morning, well it's much of the same. The sunshine is gone (do I live in Forks now or does it just feel like it). The thunder startled Little Guy and Jeter. Do you know what that means?

I'm left out of the bed.

Those are some big tears

July 22

Little Guy had his two month appointment. He is a healthy and strong little boy. Well, little may be a relative term. Big Poppy and I are continuing to pump iron as Little Guy continues to grow and grow and grow. The doc says we are still doing what we are suppose to be doing and not to change a thing. It's good to hear the reassurance but really, if you take a look at Little Guy you can see that he is happy and healthy. I was not concerned about Little Guy's health at on on this day.

The Vitals at Two Months:
Height: 23 1/2" (75 percentile)
Weight: 13 lbs 8 oz (75 percentile)
Head Size: 39.5 cm (50 percentile)

(Click here to see the vitals at one month or click here to see them at birth.)

NOTE: Anyone that thinks Little Guy is too big when it comes to his weight, look at his height, he should weigh a little more. Big Poppy and I feed him when he's hungry and more than once Little Guy has not finished eating because he was full. That's the beauty of a baby, they actually stop eating when full. Now if only I could say the same when there a plate full of yummy in front of me!

This was also the appointment with a lot of immunizations going on. Little Guy was a trooper. I, on the other hand, do not like it when I see tears...EVER. I mean, why haven't they figured out a way that doesn't involve shots yet. After all was said and done, I took a quick picture of Little Guy. You cannot see the tears but know they were there. It's a good thing that Big Poppy was there with us. I might not have been so strong without the potential ribbing later if I lost it too.

Someone was not happy about the multiple shots to the leg.

Little Guy was great all day. We were warned that some babies run a little fever or are fussy all day after immunizations. Little Guy decided the best way to handle the morning trauma was to nap most of the day away. He woke for food and diaper changes and not much else.

The next day, Little Guy was as chipper as always. We even started getting him use to sunglasses (ok, that was all me but he looks so darn cute, I couldn't help myself).

Life is good again.

Little Guy likes to wear his shades because he is "that cool".

Big Poppy was not a fan of this look but I think it gives Little Guy a certain "I'm fun, I'm cool, you only wish you could be my friend" look. Of course, Little Guy is friends with everyone. It's just a look.

To the left, to the left please

July 8

Spoiler Alert – Little Guy is just fine (in case you missed that on previous postings Off the Charts and ENT).

Here we are, July 8, and Big Poppy, Little Guy and I will be meeting at one of the branch offices of the local children’s hospital. The ENT doctor has indicated that Little Guy most likely has torticollis. That is why we are here today, to confirm the diagnosis and set-up some physical therapy (PT) treatments.

Big Poppy and Little Guy arrive before I do. What a great impression I’m making! I’m late for the my little sweethearts appointment. On a positive note, this has mortified me and since this date I have not said “just five more minutes” to wrap something up, which would normally force me to drive too fast if I do not want to be late for a family and/or friend function. Yes, I am a changed woman. I leave work and I leave the work at the office. I truly enjoy my career and feel guilty about my clients not getting enough of me, but that guilt is nothing compared to the guilt I feel if I don’t get my Little Guy and Big Poppy time. But, I digress (and I am thinking how great it is going to be starting on Friday when I will be working even less!).

Little Guy’s cute (ask Big Poppy or Little Guy, they will agree) physical therapist is doing the once over, twice over and maybe even three times over. I’m a little nervous because at this point, the once golf ball size pump on the side of Little Guy’s neck is now no longer visible and so small that it is hard to feel when you put your hand on his neck. I am not nervous because it has gone away. I am thinking that the medical profession is going think that Big Poppy and I have Munchausen by proxy syndrome because there has not much of an indication, except for the original peds visit, that there is actually anything wrong with Little Guy. Someone is going to note this in Little Guy’s medical file and then if he is ever in need of something dire, they will be slow to respond to the real need. I tend to worry too much. I’ll work on that flaw next year.

The physical therapist tells us that Little Guy has a very slight, less that 2% off from what should be his center alignment. He definitely favors turning his head to the right but it is not painful to turn to the left. She gives us some stretching to do with Little Guy to help lengthen the muscle and get Little Guy aligned properly. And then she sends us on a merry way.

Relief and embarrassment of wasting the ENT and physical therapists time when they could be seeing someone that really needed it wash over me. Big Poppy and I have been stretching Little Guy one to two times a day as prescribed. He still favors the turning to the right and I find myself singing at times, To the Left, which drives me a little batty. I’m more of a Nickelback kind of girl.

Oh well. Let them think Big Poppy and I are slightly crazy. Better safe than sorry.

Picture taken a couple weeks ago, but on my phone he looks like a doll!

ENT

June 26

I can hear the boo - hiss of the peanut gallery already...there are no pictures being posted. I just did not think to bring the camera to our first visit to the ENT (ears, nose and throat for those of you not up on medical abbreviations - Big Poppy and I are one of those not in the know). As a reminder (spoiler alert) from our Off The Charts posting, Little Guy is just fine. Any hysteria you read is that of a new mom when big words fly over her head.

When we took Little Guy in for his one month check-up we asked the pediatrician about a lump on the side of his neck. Little Guy had a breech birth and a little shoulder injury from the birth. The shoulder healed just fine and has been moving around without any pain or hindrance. Big Poppy and I asked the pediatrician about the lump on Little Guy's neck out of curiosity on when the lump would go away assuming it had something to do with the breech birth since it was on the same side as the shoulder injury.

Well, you would have thought that we were asking if we could have an ice cream sundae for breakfast. I get that babies have no neck. It's head and body, sometime down the road Little Guy will suddenly sprout a neck and if we are lucky it will not look like E.T. I do expect when giving my little baby a once over, that maybe the pediatrician will check for the first signs of his neck. The pediatrician did not notice the huge lump on Little Guy's neck at all. (She is competent and we like her, we have just learned that if you want anyone to do anything more than what the checklists tell them to do, you need to speak up - hopefully in a nice voice, not a mean voice.)

After an initial once over the hidden neck (I have now learned that babies have necks, the neck is just hidden beneath that cute little head and cheeks), the pediatrician says she is going to get someone else. Hmmm...maybe you should not leave new parents in the room for a loooong period of time alone, with their thoughts, when they can see that you are unsure what has caused the basketball (exaggeration) to form on the side of their precious little baby. That's just my opinion, but what do I know.

Another, more experienced (that does not always mean older but in this case, it does) pediatrician. Our more experienced pediatrician feels around and concludes that she believes it is a branchial cyst but to be sure they are going to refer us to the ENT.

Great, I have no idea what ENT means but get that it is some kind of specialist. Branchial cyst, well that does not sound so good either. I am beginning to think that I need to become one of those people that know everything and worry about everything just so I can keep up with what they are telling me. They do finally tell Big Poppy and I ENT is ears, nose and throat and I feel like a silly (or bad) mom for not knowing this already. We make the appointment for June 26 and go home - were I very quickly googled branchial cyst and confirmed what the pediatricians have told us, that it is nothing serious and can easily be taken care of.

Now Big Poppy and I are sitting in the ENT's waiting room. I'm curious as to what the ENT will do to take care of the cyst. Big Poppy and I can tell that the cyst has been reduced to the size of a peanut now. Maybe it will just go away and we do not need to ever think about it again.

Well, the ENT calls us in. We talk about the potential branchial cyst and he is looking at Little Guy, Big Poppy and I like we have "LIAR" written on our foreheads...or else the ENT is just thinking that Big Poppy and I are parents that run their baby in for everything. He cannot feel the cyst and thinks that the problem is really...

...well we had to wait a good five minutes to hear what the ENT thought while he just sat there and looked at us. I admit, Little Guy was crying and we were trying to calm him down. Little Guy did not like the way the ENT moved his head back and forth. ENT did mention that he was waiting for Little Guy to settle down so we could hear what he was going to say but it was still very uncomfortable sitting there with ENT looking down at us.

A few kisses and whispers settle Little Guy down. Big Poppy and I are anxious to hear what ENT has to say. Well the word starts with a T and for a while that was all I could tell you. Our ENT says that torticollis is likely the culprit of the phantom cyst, which I am quite sure he does not believe ever existed, and the reason Little Guy tracks to the right when looking around.

With a quick referral to the local children's hospital we are off again with assurance that it a minor injury that a little physical therapy and stretching at home will cure. Oh boy, our little boy was so active before birth that he caused an injury to himself that requires some PT. I can hardly wait to see what happens when he is seven!

Big Poppy and I are relieved that it is not the branchial cyst. That would have likely required a same day surgery and that does not sound pleasant for anyone, let alone our Little Guy at such a young age. Now we just wait for confirmation at the children's hospital.

To be continued...