Thursday, January 7, 2010

Don’t give others what they don’t want

***Ever wonder what to do while taking a lunch break? Ponder life of course.***

Don’t give others what they don’t want. ~ Japanese proverb

Last night I had the pleasure to keep company with some pretty girls. They were smart ones at that. It is great spending time with those you like, respect and challenges your thinking. What can I say, I have a great book club group (and some time soon I will get you caught up with our reads and those to come).

We tried something new this December. The month was read free, at least in terms of a book club selection. We still met last night – if was not obvious from my previous thoughts – and talked about the holiday season, what our traditions were, live trees vs. permanent trees, December reads and a host of other items. There was also a white elephant book exchange where we were gifted a gently used book, whether it was our own or someone else’s who had long forgotten the book was MIA.

We played the dice game, my rules ;), and selected not only a much loved book but also a small pocket book one of the fair headed ladies brought for everyone. The little book I won is Open Your Mind, Open Your Life: A Little Book on Eastern Wisdom. And after much prolog, we are now to what I wanted to talk about today.

When I flipped open Open Your Mind for the first time, my eyes rested on this:

Don’t give others what they don’t want. ~ Japanese proverb

At first glance I was shallow. How fitting, make sure your presents to someone reflect them, not your picture of them. I am embarrassed to admit this thought. Even more embarrassed to know too many times in my life where I have rolled my eyes at gifts better suited for someone else.
And then, this morning, driving to work, walking into the building, riding the elevator to my floor (some day I’ll take the stairs again), I started to really think about the Japanese proverb. It was not a conscious effort but the proverb kept playing in my mind. Something ate at me.

Don’t give others what they don’t want. ~ Japanese proverb

I got it. Don’t give others what they don’t want!

Really, how simple is this?

Do others want your bad attitude? I don’t think so; I can smile and be realistic at the same time. I know how to spin gold out of the pile on the floor. What gives me the right to give others my piss poor outlook on something?

Do others want your gossip? Well, maybe they do but do the ones you are talking about want you to be talking? There is no reason to talk about others in a negative way (though I do believe in the power of venting – then move on). I can take a lesson from Thumper’s dad…got nothing nice to say, then say nothing.

Do others want to hear all about you all the time? Probably not. At some point the daze eyes and the shift in posture should clue you in to see about them. Better yet, don’t wait for these signs to find out how they are doing; what is new in their life.

Don’t give others what they don’t want. ~ Japanese proverb

This is just so true on many levels for me. I plug along in my days and think how I am providing warmth and comfort for my friends and family and then something small, like this, reminds me I am also providing discomfort at times.

Don’t give others what they don’t want. ~ Japanese proverb

I need to keep this in mind.


  1. What a great proverb...and a great post!!!


  2. Sure and I posted a pet peeve post today! What lovely thoughts you gave today!


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