Thursday, June 23, 2011


Jane Jones: Worst.Vampire.Ever

Happy Mom: Adult.Seeking.Second.Childhood

Curse you Andy Cohen.

Curse you and the guilty pleasure of Watch What Happens Live and the train wrecks that are Bravo reality TV.

Without you Andy Cohen and the background entertainment on your drinking show I would not have seen a pink book with such an intriguing name. How could I not have been drawn to Worst.Vampire.Ever? How could that young teenage girl, perhaps even preteen child, stay away?

A quick google revealed the book synopsis:
For Jane Jones, being a vampire is nothing like you read about in books. In fact, it kind of sucks. She's not beautiful, she's not rich, and she doesn't "sparkle." She's just an average, slightly nerdy girl from an ordinary suburban family (who happens to be vampires.) Jane's from the wrong side of the tracks (not to mention stuck in the world's longest awkward phase), so she doesn't fit in with the cool vampire kids at school or with the humans kids. To top it all off, she's battling an overprotective mom, a clique of high school mean girls (the kind who really do have fangs), and the most embarrassing allergy in the history of the undead, she's blood intolerant. So no one's more surprised than Jane when for the first time in her life, things start to heat up (as much as they can for a walking corpse, anyway) with not one, but two boys. Eli's a geeky, but cute real-live boy in her history class, and Timothy is a beautiful, brooding bloodsucker, who might just hold the key to a possible "cure" for vampirism. Facing an eternity of high school pressure, fumbling first dates, or a mere lifetime together with Timothy, what's a 90-something year-old teen vampire to do?
Oh Andy, you know me so well. I believe you knew I would see that pink book. The book jacket further peaked my curiosity but I was unconvinced, yet. I need a little more convincing. I'll look into the author.
CAISSIE ST. ONGE is an Emmy-nominated comedy writer who's worked for The Late Show with David Letterman, The Rosie O'Donnell Show, and VH1's Best Week Ever, as well as a bunch of shows you probably haven't heard of (but that's okay). Caissie's written lots of other stuff, too, including commercials for soap, ice cream, and cell phones that starred some bigshot Hollywood celebrities, plus an infomercial for collectible coins that starred a prominent Pennsylvania numismatist. (But enough bragging.) Caissie lives in Connecticut with her husband and two sons, in a town that's a lot like the one described in these pages, but she's not a vampire . . . yet. This is Caissie's first novel.

Okay. You got me now.

Andy, I heeded your advice. The pink book came home with me this weekend. Curse you Andy.

Happy Mom: Stays.Up.Late.To.Read.Young.Adult.Books.Turns.Out.Book.Was.Just.What.The.Mommy.Needed.This.Hijacked.Blog.Will.Return.To.It's.Normal.Schedule.

Need a mindless funny take on high school. Andy Cohen had just the ticket for this young-old gal. Now I better read an adult book before Big Poppy realizes the zits on my face....

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